Review: "Every Single Man's Battle"

             I have mixed feelings about Every Single Man’s Battle by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker with Mike Yorkey.  I initially looked at the titled and thought to myself, a single male, “Shockingly, yes, single men do have sexual thoughts.”  As I began to read the book, I found some problems and much good, but then, on page fifty-one, it changed into “a companion guide” for the single male, to the author’s book Every Man’s Battle.  In other words, to get the full benefit of three-quarters of this book, you have to buy another book.  That disappointed me.

The book begins with the authors’ stories, and reference is made to how, after one of the author’s divorces, God had to go to plan “B” for his life (9).  I believe in the Sovereign God Who doesn’t make mistakes and doesn’t need to turn to a plan “B”!

The authors talk about pornography as being the primary problem of single men, and I question if that is accurate.  Perhaps I am not the average single man, but I raise the question about their assumption.

The authors, to my reading, write only about single men who intend/desire marriage.  They do no address those persons who have/believe they have the gift of celibacy.  Just because one has the gift of celibacy does not mean that one will never have a lustful thought.  They need to also address those who are “eunuchs for the Kingdom” – either here or in another volume.  Those single men have their own unique set of issues and temptations.

Still, the authors make three points about single men and sexuality which I agree are extremely important:  Singles must have others to whom they are accountable – not just to God, but to other human beings who will help them and pray with them and be a human reminder of their desire for purity.

Spiritual revival is of utmost necessity.  Everyone needs to be in the Scripture every day, and singles will find help in pursuing after God in pursuing after God – not giving themselves the time and the opportunity to stray.

And, all sex before marriage is sin.  We often try to excuse this act or that act, so long it is not a genital act, but God condemns all sexual acts prior to marriage.  That is a message we need to hear over and over – it is a message which society finds scandalous, but it is true.

However, the straw that breaks the camel’s back, which makes me not recommend this book, is the theology throughout the “companion guide” that as Christians, victory is available to us, but we have to appropriate it for ourselves.  They give examples of people who received victory and then gave it away, etc.  This is a misunderstanding of the Scripture.

We are victorious in Christ.  Period.  The battle has been one.  We have been justified.

“’Death is swallowed up in victory.  O death, where is your victory?  O death, where is your sting?’  The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law.  But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ” (I Corinthians 15:54b-56, ESV).

“For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world.  And this is the victory that has overcome the world – our faith.  Who is it that overcomes the world except the one who believes that Jesus is the Son of God?” (I John 5:4-5, ESV).

We were born dead in our sin, slavers to the world, the flesh, and the devil.   But Christ had given us victory over sin and death through His Meritorious Work on the cross, which satisfies for we who believe.

Martin Luther said that we are simultaneously justified and sinners.  Christ has done the work, our debt has been paid, His Righteousness has been applied to our accounts, so the elect of God are Christ’s forever – yet we sin.

What does that mean?  That we have not rightly or fully appropriated the victory?  Has Jesus promised us sinless perfection in this life?  No!  We are righteous in God’s Sight through Jesus.  The Holy Spirit now indwells us and leads us to grow in holiness.  We continue to sin in this life – though, hopefully, less and less – and when we do, we turn to our faithful Savior and confess our sin to Him and receive the forgiveness He already merited for us on the cross.

I am victorious in Jesus because Jesus is victorious and has made me His own.  Now, I struggle and run and fight my way towards the finish line, confessing my sin and relying on Jesus – not on my application of the victory.

[This review appears on Amazon.com and on my blog.  I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review.]