Review: "When Darkness Seems My Closest Friend"

            Mark Meynell’s When Darkness Seems My Closet Friend:  Reflections on life and ministry with depression is a very good resource for ministers who suffer with depression.

            Meynell tell his story of depression in ministry as a help for other ministers to learn to cope with and, even, arise through periods of depression and not be conquered by it.  A major scriptural passage – from which the title of the book comes – is Psalm 88, written by the sons of Korah.

            In the first chapter, Meynell explains the mask the minister often find himself needing to wear he ministers to his congregation (1ff).  When someone is hurting or rejoicing, the pastor may need to mask his own depression to help the parishioner.  Some parishioners would be turned away from coming to a pastor who is too open with his mental illness.

            Chapter two focuses in depression bubbling up and how music – such as Psalm 88 can be a salve.

            Meyer then talks about the cave ministers can find themselves in – setting themselves away from all others who can hurt to help.  He talks about one of his favorite poets and hymnwriters, William Cowper, and his depression, and the need to find someone who can understand.

            He continues, “The great weight of our sin makes us groan, and yet God’s high standards and our people’s expectations make us reluctant to acknowledge that weight” (51).

            From this follows the problem of shame.  “In contrast to guilt, which provokes a fear of the discovery of what I have done, shame generates a fear of the discovery of who I am” (75).  Deliverance comes in finding God’s “extravagant love” in the cross over and over (90).

In the sixth chapter, he writes about thoughts of suicide and how the must be dealt with by addressing the health of the whole person – body, soul, mind, and spirit (104).

Next, he has an “interlude” featuring a poem by Andrew Peterson (113).

In the next chapter, he urges, “I live by faith, not sight” (140).

 In the eighth chapter, he argues for the importance of having at least one other person that can be there when the pastor is descending into darkness, even if that person can do not more that be there.

In the final chapter, he shows how his depression and understanding it has made him a better pastor and how it can be a gift if handled rightly.

In the first appendix (186), he looks at different types of treatment that may be useful for the pastor going through depression.

In the second (193), he listed an extensive set of print and digital resources.

Finally, he includes some of his poetry regarding his struggles.

This is followed by chapter endnotes.

Meynell’s book is well worth the read for its honesty and for making it clear that if one is experiencing depression – or any type of mental illness, one ought not go it alone – seek help.

Meynell writes from his experience of sin and shame leading to depression, and here, in a sense, I find the book’s one weakness:  it does not address depression caused by biochemical disease or accident.  Of course, that is not what caused his depression, so one would to expect it.  I only mention it to say that though his book is very good and certainly helpful, it does not cover everything, and the reader should be aware of that as one suffers and seek to help those who are suffering.

            [This review appears on my blog, Amazon.com, and Goodreads.com.]