Review: "The Book Your Pastor Wishes You Would Read (But is Too Embarrassed to Ask)

            I suspected what Christopher Ash’s book, The Book Your Pastor Wishes You Would Read (But is Too Embarrassed to Ask), and I was right – in a good way.

            Ash begins by introducing us to ten ministers – pastor who sin, who have insecurities, who get overwhelmed, and so forth.  The point being that “pastors are people too.”

            Then he asked why a parishioner should want to care for his pastor.  The answer is found is Hebrews 13:17 – if your pastor is overburdened, he won’t be of any benefit to you.

            The bulk of the book is “seven virtues of church members that impact our pastors.”

1.      Daily repentance and eager faith.  Come to your pastor with your struggles and sin and be desirous of instruction from God’s Word and tell the pastor when he has done or said something right or helpful.

2.      Committed belonging.  We are not primarily consumers, but providers in our local church.  So, as often as possible, we are to be involved in everything our church does, including the worship service.

3.      Open Honesty. Be open and honest between church members and the pastor, and as much as possible, face to face.

4.      Thoughtful Watchfulness.  We are to keep a concerned watch – not a watch seeking to see the pastor fail – over the pastor’s life and doctrine.  Not just inquiring of him and listening to his sermons, but allowing him time to read, to go to conferences, to have a study leave, a day(s) off, and vacations.

5.      Loving kindness.  The ministry takes a toll on a person.  Our care for the pastor should reflect in his pay and housing.

6.      High expectations.  We ought to expect and example of striving after holiness and the presentation of biblical doctrine from our pastors.  God holds them to higher standards and so should we.  We out also protect them from false accusations.

7.      Zealous submission.  We ought to zealous follow our pastor’s lead (so long as it is biblical).

Ash then recommends that several people in the congregation self-consciously get to know the pastor and his family – befriend him – be a sounding board – people to have times of casual acquaintance with.  In this chapter, he includes several questions that someone in the congregation should be able to answer about their pastor.

In the final chapter, he suggests that some churches will respond well to his thoughts, and others will rebel or be angry.  For the latter, the pastor may find it time to move on.

This is both a sobering and encouraging book as I considered what I have done well and not well and how I perceive the same in my congregation.  I will never forget – not to long into my ministry – when I asked the congregation to pray for me and for my striving after holiness during the sermon – and one dear woman, who I know cares for me very much, came up to me after worship and said, “I never thought about praying for you.”

There is a misperception of pastors being anywhere from sluggards to social workers to holy men – all of which are wrong.  We need to fight for a correct understanding of the ministry, fight, as pastors to be holy and good undershepherds, and to teach our congregation how to care for us and why it is necessary.  This book is a great place to start.

Interestingly, he says that most people should never know what the pastor’s salary is because that could cause unrealistic expectations (79).  I’m not sure what I think of that.  My salary and benefits have always been broken down in detail in our budget.

Read this book.  Think it through.  And then consider getting it for the congregation – even if it causes you some embarrassment.

            [This review appears on my blog, Amazon.com, and Goodreads.com.]